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About
me
|
Ljubljana, July 1999
|
Allow me to introduce myself in a few words. Petya is not
my real name, only a pseudonym that I use on these web pages. Nevertheless,
this doesn't mean that our relationship should be any less sincere. But
if you feel that you can not talk openly with someone who hides behind
a pseudonym just ask me about my real name. The only reason I use a pseudonym
is because of the random visitors of these pages, who have no intention
of writing to me. I was born under the Sagittarius star sign (a fact that
is of little importance to me) and am 48 years old. I live in Ljubljana,
capita city of Slovenia. I am a special pedagogue by profession, but I
only spent one year doing what I was trained for. I make my living with
computer-aided book and magazine processing. I have two children who are
my source of infinite joy, as well as worry.
Let me say something about my personality. As a child
I was one of the shyest people I ever met. I always wanted to become someone
else, some sort of idol, whom I never really knew. This search for my lost
self wasn't a short one. It only started loosing its initial drive during
the past few years, until it disappeared completely. What I want to say
is that I only found my true identity very late in life. Perhaps I would
never have found it at all, had a very unpleasant experience not crossed
my path three years ago.
|
My husband and me,
Pag, July 1998
|
The search for a perfection that does not even exist
is forced upon us every day of our lives. Through the media, in school,
at work, in advertisements, basically everywhere. We are constantly told
how to behave, how to be enterprising, pleasant and earn a lot of money.
We should have a good car, get rid of excess fat and especially cellulite.
We have to think about how and where we are going to invest our money. We
have to act fashionably, in keeping with time and in accordance with our
age. If you are a man your ideal should be Ken and if you are a woman, your
ideal should be Barbie. Only when you actually
achieve this ideal will you become an attractive and welcome member of any
social group. Needless to say, this ideal is impossible to achieve.
Hvar, September 2001 |
In fact, it is silly to even strive towards achieving
it in the first place. It's like wanting to become a battery operated plastic
doll. Many people refuse to strive towards this ideal and turn to other
things: they become "normal". Ordinary, one of the crowd, shapeless.
And finally, introverted, shy. This is what I used to be like as well.
Trogir, September 1976 |
But soon after my unpleasant experience I realized that
life is way too short to be wasted on dealing with problems, which usually
get solved all by themselves anyway. It is to short to allow ourselves to
play the role of someone else. I started thinking more and more about myself,
about my inner world. Even I find it hard to believe how many things were
bubbling inside me all this time, how many things I found out and finally
became aware of. The more I thought about them, the less they bothered me.
By this I mean the world around me, the people I live with and that I happen
to meet. Only lately have I found my inner peace, which I had been searching
for my whole life. To me, this means more than anything.
Bohinj, June 1998
Special thanks to my very good friend for this picture... |
Maybe some people think that my words are somewhat blow
out of proportion, even prophet-like, but this is not my intention at all.
I don't know how to give prophecies, neither do I want to. But I can empathize
with other people and accept them as they are. I have become a very good
listener to my friends. I often give them useful advice. That is why I also
want to help you. I will answer your questions to the best of my ability,
if possible with the help of my own experiences. Of course some questions
might leave me without an adequate answer. Nevertheless, the fact that you'd
written to me and confided your problems, will be helpful in itself and
your problems will seem less significant once you share them with someone
else. |
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